http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2009/12/from-exact-middle-of-nowhere.html

Waving from the Middle of Nowhere, where there's no TV, my cell phone doesn't work and the internet is slow and klunky enough that semaphore might be more efficient.

http://pbackwriter.blogspot.com/2009/12/one-last-wordle.html

I hope everyone out there is having a great holiday. At the moment I'm trying out my guy's top secret Christmas gift to me, a brand new office chair, which is a thousand times better than what I had, and so comfortable it's almost indecent (this is also a wildly romantic gift for reasons that, well, I'm not going to tell you, just trust me, it is.)

As I've been putting together the last week of posts for this year, I'm finding some old links I haven't visited in a while, like Wordle. Here's one last word cloud for 2009 using the blog's URL (click on image to see larger version):



Did Santa bring you all any surprises? Let us know in comments.

http://pbackwriter.blogspot.com/2009/12/elves-at-work.html

We're having a stay-at-home open house Christmas this year, and with all the friends who have been stopping in I think it's going to be one of the best ever. The girls decided to paint elf masks yesterday, and I couldn't resist taking a shot of teenagers playing like little ones:



I should have gotten pictures of the boys versus the girls chocolate chip cookie bake-off, but I was too busy juggling mixers (and alas, the boys won -- but only because my guy judged. I still think the girls' mini-chip cookies were unique.)

Today I'm taking over the kitchen to make a from-scratch German chocolate cake for my guy, and apple strudel for friends, and then make my daughter's favorite dinner, ham and cabbage. After that we're going to play Chocolate Monopoly (I saw it at Walgreen's and simply could not resist it):



What are you guys doing today? Let us know in comments.

http://pbackwriter.blogspot.com/2009/12/for-2010.html

If you're looking for a personal info manager and a virtual calendar to use for next year, I thought I'd put in a personal good word for this freeware by Martin Bresson:

Chaos Manager 2.25 is a "little simple and compact organizer which features an appointment/to-do manager (appointments will pop-up), a calendar, contacts (phone/address-book), a notebook which supports multiple topics, sync via internet, email forwarding of appointments, print/import/export and much more. All is password protected and encrypted (optional). You can also customize your own skin and background" (OS: Win 98/ME/2K/XP)

I was looking for a simple freeware to replace the (annoying as hell) Windows Vista calendar I've been using, and this is definitely an improvement. It's small, it's simple, I don't have to jump through hoops or get a degree in programming to use it, plus I downloaded it and ran it on my Windows Vista system and it works fine.

Here's a screenshot from my desktop to give you an idea of how it looks (click on image to see larger version):

http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2009/12/why-all-lettering-is-getting-smaller.html

I'm flying out tonight to the UK. I'll hole up in the middle of nowhere with my children and ex-wife and my mother as well, and probably be off-the-internet the whole time. There will be no TV in the middle of nowhere, so I will miss Doctor Who and miss "Statuesque" on Sky1 (10 pm Christmas Day).

http://pbackwriter.blogspot.com/2009/12/holiday-ten.html

Ten Things to do During the Holidays

221B is an advergame to promote the new Sherlock Holmes movie. Looks like it might be fun, although it seems you have to be on Facebook to play it so I couldn't try it out.

Want to learn how to write a movie script treatment the easy way? Try Bill Myer's Automatic Movie Script Treatment Generator.

ArchteypeWriting.com has a trio of story-starter generators to play with: Character Generator, an Everyday Problems Generator, and a Plot Scenario Generator.

Play the online game Christmas Lights and listen to some holiday music while you try to spot all the differences (not as easy as it looks.)

All I can say about the Christmas Zoom Game is Whoa.

For a distraction-free writing environment, try Dark Room (OS: Windows XP/2000/2003) or Write Room (OS: Mac OS X 10.4 or later)

This Google Image Ripper over at Dear Computer pulls images based on the keyword(s) you put in.

OmmWriter is "a simple text processor that firmly believes in making writing a pleasure once again, vindicating the close relationship between writer and paper. The more intimate the relation, the smoother the flow of inspiration" (OS: Mac OS X 10.5 or higher)

Who is smarter, men or women? Trivial Pursuit has an online game that doubles as an experiment to find out.

If you're bored and want to get in a little writing practice without committing to a huge project, try putting together a scene or short story using prompts from Seventh Sanctum's Writing Challenge Generator.

http://pbackwriter.blogspot.com/2009/12/save-em-ten.html

Ten Things to Save Your Screen

Freeware caution: always scan free downloads of anything for bugs and other threats before dumping the programs into your hard drive.

Decorate your own virtual Christmas tree then display it as your screensaver with ScreenSavers.com's free Animated Christmas Tree (OS: Win 9x/ME/2K/NT/XP)

For those who like to look at something more heavenly, check out RGGWare's Astronomy Screensaver (OS: Win 9x/ME/NT/2K/XP)

Set your desktop ablaze with LaconicSoftware.com's Free Fire Screensaver (OS: Win 9x/ME/NT/2K/XP/2K3)

3D-Screensaver-Jam.com has Free Santa and Holiday Screensavers (OS: Win 98/ME/2000/XP/2003/Vista)

Want a free screensaver that doubles as an acarde game? Check out GameSaver (OS: Win 9x/ME/NT/2K/XP)

Green Land is "a new free 3D animal and nature screensaver by GameFalls.com. Sunny day, the grass is green, the flowers are in bloom, the flies are buzzing, the birds are singing, the horses are grazing, the butterflies are fluttering - nothing breaks this happy harmony cozy atmosphere" (OS: Win 9x/ME/2K/XP/2K3)

Get "unlimited access to a huge selection of 1000’s of top quality 3D animated Wallpapers and Screensavers featuring a huge selection of themes, designs and illustrations" with Magentic (OS: Windows XP/Vista/7)

NewFreeScreenSavers.com has a whole page of free holiday-themed screensavers as well as some with clocks that I thought looked pretty neat (OS: Windows 2000/XP/Vista)

Turn your pics into PhotoToys, 3D Screensavers and Wallpaper Collages with Photojoy (OS: Windows XP/Vista)

Screensavers.com also has a free animated Yule Log screensaver with video and audio from a real fireplace (OS: Win 9x/ME/2K/NT/XP)

http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2009/12/nakedly-commercial-post-sweetened-by.html

Just a quick post to let those interested know that both Amazon and Barnes and Noble are doing extreme Christmassy discounts on ODD AND THE FROST GIANTS. It's available for 50% of the cover price...

The Amazon.com link is http://www.amazon.com/Odd-Frost-Giants-Neil-Gaiman/dp/0061671738

The Barnes and Noble link is at http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Odd-and-the-Frost-Giants/Neil-Gaiman/e/9780061671739I got to amaze and impress my daughter Maddy the other day, using http://us.akinator.com. You may enjoy impressing someone with it. Or perhaps just learn to demonstrate your telekinetic skill (I wish I'd known how to do this when I was twelve. I would have conquered the world with it).

http://pbackwriter.blogspot.com/2009/12/last-minute-writer-gift-ideas.html

I always think writers are the easiest people to shop for (one book store gift card and you're done) but my family assures me that we're not. I've collected complaints from the rest of the clan, and they cite the following:

1. You can't buy writers actual books because you don't know what we already own (true, but my shelves are not hidden, and neither is my LibraryThing account, which is searchable. Plus I always have a running shopping list on the bulletin board in the office.)

2. Reading or writing devices are tricky because we've either got them all and/or we're extremely picky about them (very true. I would go with a Levenger gift card here.)

3. There are very few writing-related humor gifts (also true, although Mom did find me a Careful, or you'll end up in my novel T-shirt for me one year.)

I still say the book store gift card is the best gift for writers, because we're forever in need of books. For the writer on your list who lives far away, you can do an online bookseller gift certificate by e-mail, which is just as good. But if you're still looking for a physical gift for your favorite writer, here are some last-minute ideas:

AlphaSmart Neo: Every writer I've given one of these to really loves it and says it helps them get a lot of writing done. I think they're great because the only thing you can do on them is write.

Books on Writing: If your writer enjoys writing how-tos, and you know what they already own, a new book on writing will likely be much appreciated. My favorite how-to released in 2009 is definitely Writing the Life Poetic by Sage Cohen. Or check out online recommendations (Author Nancy Owens Barnes has an interesting site called Books4Writers where I found out about The Oxford American Writer's Thesaurus, something I've been using every week since I bought it.)

Cleaning Kits: A printer cleaning kit is also something most writers can use; so are kits to clean up CDs, DVDs or CD drives.

Digital Camera: I have a little no-brainer Kodak point and shoot, and I love it because it is easy to use and takes some great shots. Over the last year I've used it almost every day for my online art project, and it's really changed the way I think about photography and how I look at the world.

Dragon Naturally Speaking: every seriously handicapped writer I've talked feels this is the best speech-to-text software out there; so do I. It's not for every writer, but if yours has been wanting the program, it can make a huge difference in their writing life.

Magazine subscription: if your writer doesn't subscribe to a trade mag, a year's subscription to P&W or The Writer are definitely worth the price.

Magnetic Poetry: Half of my books wouldn't have titles if it weren't for MagPo. I recommend one of their Essential Word Kits or (for the blocked writer) the Writer's Remedy Kit.

Office Supply Store Gift Card: We're always in need of office supplies; this will absolutely be used.

Printer ink cartridge: This sounds like an unlovely gift, I know, but we go through them like Kleenex so they'll definitely be used.

Windows 7 upgrade: for your writer who is still trying to figure out Vista (I am not a fan of Windows, but until Publishing switches over to Mac, I think we're stuck with it.)

If you'd rather make a gift, one thing you can put together is a Writer Relaxation Kit. In a pretty basket or book tote put a coffee mug, a hot beverage mix, some snacks (single-serving bags of microwave popcorn are great), some magazines, a soothing CD and/or a cool movie. If it's cold where your writer lives, add some fuzzy socks or a plush throw.

Another cool gift to make is a Writer's Pack. This can be a backpack, a book bag or big pretty binder filled with writing essentials: interesting pens and pencils, clips, packs of dividers, notepads, a book light, planners, CD holders, etc. You can put the little bits in a neat pencil case or supply box.

My personal favorite homemade gift is a Writer's Bubble Bath Kit. For this you put together everything your writer needs to take a long, hot soak in the tub: bath salts or bubble bath, soap, a pretty washcloth, scrunchie or bath mitt, scented candles, a CD with nature sounds, a bath pillow (I like the ones made to support the neck) and a big fluffy towel or a bath robe and slippers.

You writers out there, want to add any ideas for what you'd like to find in your stocking? Let us know in comments.

http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2009/12/xmas-roundup-with-some-good-links-and.html

How the hell did it get to be December the 18th? Ohhh. All the links I meant to post. Arghh.

For a start, I want to repost this little true thing I wrote, from last year's Independent: it's about being an eight year old Jewish kid who really wanted a Christmas tree...

http://pbackwriter.blogspot.com/2009/12/yes-another-online-toy.html

This is another thing that is too cool not to share -- Infinite Comic is an online genator that takes "a random image from Flickr superimposed with some random text off of Twitter based on keywords of your choosing" and creates a three-panel comic strip from them.

I tried it and got these generated (click on images to see larger versions):



Lynn Viehl - This has to be some pics from one of my LB&LI winners over the summer. :)



StarDoc - Not sure whose bookcases these are, but love the toys.



Charlene Teglia -- the artwork came up at random, and somehow, it's perfect.



Shiloh Walker -- Shiloh's name brought up this wonderful dog pic. I'm totally jealous.



Marjorie M. Liu -- Of course, Marjorie gets not only the best cover art but her own lolcat, too.


If you don't want to go random, you can customize it -- using the advanced link, I was able to input a URL for my latest cover and the words for each panel:

http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2009/12/late-night-mystery-post.html

Hullo everyone. I took a week off from Blogging, then didn't have a second during the whirlwind of the last few days.

As a result of which I have dozens of open tabs and dozens of letters to the FAQ line that I've marked as things I should answer. I'm not going to try and do them all now (Maddy told me that I'm taking her to school at 6:30 am, as she's got her first period of Driver's Ed). But there are a few things I should say before I sleep...

The first one is to congratulate Henry Selick and all the Coraline team (and Laika, and Focus) on the wonderful way they are being recognised by Awards. Yesterday, for example, we learned that Coraline is nominated for a Golden Globe award.

There's a great website at http://awards.filminfocus.com/#/coraline/awards which is a bit out of date right now. My favourite of the recent awards is that the Alliance of Women Journalists gave Coraline their Best Animated Character award, although the biggest honour is Coraline being on the American Film Institute's list of the ten most important films released in 2009.

I went to Atlanta. It was foggy and thunderstormy and I signed for 1,050 people. (Here's the Atlanta paper blog on the event. And Little Shop of Stories said Thank You so very nicely.)

I went to Winnipeg. It was cold outside and I signed for 869 people. Here's the Winnipeg Newspaper article. Just behind me, in the grey shirt, is the wonderful Elyse Marshall, publicist from HarperChildren's, who looked after me on the Graveyard Book Tour and who can now run a huge signing in her sleep, which is great, because it means I don't have to worry about any details or disasters. I just do my job and sign and meet everyone.

(How bad can it get? Well, there was the time Terry Pratchett and I were signing in, er, I think it was Leeds, when the people who worked at the shop saw all the people who had turned up for the signing and got scared enough that they locked themselves in the staff room at the back, leaving Terry and me to climb onto tables and shout at people until they formed some kind of a line. The staff didn't come out again until the people had all gone.)

Strangest moment in Winnipeg was getting back to the hotel room at 1:30 am to notice that, beside my bed, a framed photo of my children had mysteriously appeared. I assumed that this was a cool thing the hotel had done. Elyse, on the other hand, was convinced it was the action of a crazed stalker, and insisted I deadbolt and security chain my hotel room, and was enormously relieved, a few hours later, when she knocked on my door and I removed the chain and was obviously still alive.



Before we left the hotel I took the photo out of the frame and left a thank-you note in its place.



Flew back to Minneapolis. I stopped off at DreamHaven on the way back from the airport this afternoon, and signed more stock for Greg (http://neilgaiman.net/). Theoretically enough to see him through Xmas.

Several people wrote asking me to express my outrage at HarperCollins joining several other publishers in delaying the release of books on the Kindle or e-book format to some months after the hardback comes out, as detailed at http://www.engadget.com/2009/12/11/harpercollins-now-also-thumbing-nose-at-e-book-industry-with-dig/ but after I read the article I couldn't manage any outrage at all, no more than I could manage for people who demand that paperback books come out at the same time as hardbacks. It seemed a legitimate way to publish, anyway.

And, for those of you who want to learn exactly how an author should not respond to an Amazon One-Star review, we present an author named Candace Sams, who begins by pretending she's not the author, just someone defending a good book, then, when outed as the author, claims she's part of a noble group standing up against an evil one-star reviewer, and then informs everyone on the Amazon Comments thread that she's reported them all to the FBI. The Amazon Thread is here. Teresa Nielsen Hayden comments on it at Making Light, here. (Via Cleolinda's twitter.)

And yes, it's a horrible car crash, and I post it here not because it's funny in an Oh God Make It Stop kind of way, but because, if any of you are ever tempted to respond to bad reviews or internet trolls etc, it's a salutary reminder of why some things are better written in anger and deleted in the morning. (Also, if you're an American Games company, don't sue a British blogger in the Australian courts for a bad review.)

Oops. I have started blogging. I will stop now, and sleep for a little while.

...

Before I go: Sky has a website for the Ten Minute Tales series, which includes Statuesque, my film starring Bill Nighy (which goes out in the UK on Christmas Day) : http://sky1.sky.com/10-minute-tales. I wish I could have been at the screening in London on Sunday, more so when I saw my old friend Paterson Joseph stars in one of the films.

http://pbackwriter.blogspot.com/2009/12/iab-goes-overseas.html

I love German publishers; they always give my novels such fantasic cover art.



For my readers over there, this German translation edition of If Angels Burn will be released in April 2010.

http://pbackwriter.blogspot.com/2009/12/buy-my-hardcover-or-ill.html

My daughter told me tonight that author James Patterson is running a TV commercial in which he threatens to kill his protagonist if people don't buy his new book. I think Stephen King already did that once in The Dark Half and it didn't work out so well for the guy (wait, no, twice, he did it in Misery, too.)

Maybe it's a joke, but getting all Abraham with your readership is like telling your editor what you really think of him. Just don't go there. Ever.

I know the steady decline in hardcover sales is costing the big names lots of bucks (according to Publishers Weekly, adult hardcover sales were down 13% in 2008 as a result of a 5.3% drop in gross sales plus 10.8% increase in returns, and while I don't have any reliable figures for 2009, friends tell me it's been a bad year for the hardbound.)

I buy mostly paperbacks, but I'll admit, I didn't buy as many hardcover novels in 2009 as I have in years past. 99.9% of what I did buy were for blog giveaways or were copies I passed along to friends with tight book budgets. It's always been tough for me to pay $27.00 for a hardcover when I can get three paperbacks for $24.00, and I only do it for a couple authors like Mary Balogh and Linda Howard. I'm also now having trouble holding heavy hardcovers for long periods of time, and most of the big fat ones like Stephen King's latest I read from a bookstand or from the tabletop, which sometimes gives me a neck crick. Since I can't use an e-reader, paperbacks really are the most comfortable reads for me.

I think most readers are being pretty cautious when it comes to buying hardcovers, too, as I'm not seeing the booksellers moving much of their big name stock. I saw one novel by a critically-acclaimed author marked "Clearance -- 50% off" at BAM last week, which was a huge shock. Why? This particular author was advanced millions, had a multi-million-dollar marketing campaign, plus the book was just released this fall. I'd heard that it tanked, and badly, but to hold a firesale before it's even had three full months on the shelf? That is troubling.

To be published in hardcover is nice -- I've had about ten books debut that way -- but these days they're just not selling (and with the economy the way it is, I doubt that's going to change.) I'm sure the big names have enough in the bank to weather the storm, but until prestige pays the bills the working writer has a better chance of earning out and even making a profit in paperback -- and even more so in electronic format. If I were ever given a choice (most authors don't choose how their books are printed, btw; publishers decide that) I'd pick paperback every time.

Another downside to hardcovers is the short shelf life. I've notice a lot of paperback reprints of hardcover titles being released within six months of the hardcover (it used to be a year or more) which pretty much kills the sales of hardcover editions. With less time on the shelves, it's likely that a larger percentage of hardcovers are being remaindered sooner than they should be (which may also explain why the returns in 2008 were so high.)

That day at BAM I almost bought a sympathy copy of the millionaire author's 50%-off title. I know, it's weird, but in the past I have bought books because I felt sorry for their one-hit wonder authors. But evidently the economy and the plight of too many midlist authors has changed my attitude. As I picked up the book, I thought of two paperbacks I wanted that I could buy for the same price as the one hardcover. In the end I went for paperbacks instead, and honestly? I didn't feel guilty at all. I felt I was being supportive of two authors who interested me and who I know don't have millions in the bank.

As for James Patterson, I never followed any of his series books so it doesn't make any difference to me if he kills this character or not. I bet his fans feel differently, though.

I'm curious -- what, if any, hardcovers are you guys buying these days? Do you have any criteria as to what you will buy in hardcover? Do you find you're more inclined to wait for the paperback, or buy books that are first released in paperback versus hardcover? And last but not least, would an author threatening to kill off a character compel you to buy their book? Let us know what you think in comments.

http://pbackwriter.blogspot.com/2009/12/explorations-in-story.html

I'm finally getting to read the new quilt books I picked up over Black Friday weekend, and really loving Design Explorations for the Creative Quilter, a fascinating how-to book by quilt artist Katie Pasquini Masopust that teaches you the basic steps of making art quilts. Art quilts are different from traditional quilts as they usually aren't made to be used as bedding but are hung or displayed like artwork. If you've ever wanted to make an art quilt but aren't sure how to tackle the project, this is definitely a book to check out.

To me the only difference between a painting and an art quilt are the materials used to create them (and often art quilts are painted, too, so that line blurs regularly.) I began dabbling in art quilts a few years ago to forge a connection between my own painting and my needlework. To me every quilt is a work of art, but I've always made quilts to serve their basic purpose, so it was a a bit of a jump for me to make something that wouldn't be used to keep someone warm and comfortable. But art quilts, I discovered, warm the soul.

I've often compared writing to quilting, but always from a practical approach: design it, plan it, make it, finish it, give/keep/sell it. While reading Ms. Masopust's book I realized that from the moment I begin a new story, I've usually got my eye on that last step -- selling it. Marketability is the primary determining factor for what I do during step one and all the other steps, and I don't apologize for that. As a pro, I have to write something that I at least have a chance to sell.

But not everything I write is for sale. Sometimes I write just to get something out of my head, or test out a new idea, or simply recharge my batteries. Joining in NaNoWriMo gave me a chance to write a book that was just for me, just for fun. Generally I only have time to do that with a couple of scenes or a short story, so to give myself permission to write an entire novel that had no price tags attached to it was terrific. Even after producing almost 60K in thirty days I feel so turbo-charged I'm now flying through everything else on the schedule. Whether I sell my NaNoNovel or not, the payoff has been pretty astounding.

As writers we're so focused on dealing with the biz that I think we sometimes forget that for us it's supposed to be about the story. We make so many concessions and compromises in order to sell that we can lose touch with why we do this. For me it's always been about exploring, not just what I can do but what I can do for others through story. Finding ways to understand and work out my vision of a story only strengthens my bond with my craft. Those bonds should never feel like chains, and when they start dragging at me I do go off exploring. November simply taught me that I need to do more of that.

You writers out there, how are you exploring story? Is there anything you've found that helps you get out of the writing rut and rejuvenate? Let us know in comments.

http://pbackwriter.blogspot.com/2009/12/gift-ten.html

Ten Gifts That Won't Cost You Much to Give

1,500 Gifts under $14.99: I keep getting mail-order catalogs from Collections Etc., a gift company that boasts it sells over 1,500 items for $14.99 or less. Turns out they have a web site and a sales section with 700+ items starting as low as $1.97 (a lot of this stuff is on the kitsch-y side, but I went through about ten pages of the sales section, and found these: Tabletop Letter Organizer for $10.97, Adjustable Table for $12.97, and Sunflower Veggie Bin for $10.97 which I thought were fairly neat.)

Baked Goods: If you've got a specialty cookie or candy, whip up a batch and put in a pretty tin. Breakfast breads, coffee cakes or some other brunch-type item are also good, and if you bake them in a disposable pan you can just let them cool, wrap them in cello and stick a ribbon on top (I like to share great recipes, so this year I'm giving apple strudel and print copies of the issue of Cooking Light that contains the super easy, delicious recipe I used to make it.)

Books: Give a gift bag filled with books you've enjoyed from your shelves, or a CD with downloads of free reads from Suvudu Free Library or Scribd.com (like my own free library of stories, which has 33 freebies.)

CD Designer Mix: Raid your music and compile a collection of tunes your recipient would enjoy, then burn them a customized CD. If you have a label-maker program, print out a label with their photo on it. If you need a source for free, legal downloads of new music, check out Jamendo.com

Dollar Store Dare: This is fun to do with a friend who has a sense of humor. Decide on a specific dollar amount for your gift ($1, $3, or $5) and dare each other to find a gift or gifts by shopping only at your local dollar store. While most dollar stores carry a lot of junk, you can also find some pretty neat little items in them that are fun, useful or really different (once I found 11 brand-new copies of a famous SF author's award-winning hardcover novel at my dollar store, so you never know.)

Freeware: For your computer geek friends who are low on cash, pick up some freeware dowload links at sites like FreewareFiles.com and PrimeWares.com to send them (and if you really want to be a pal, test out the programs first and let your friend know how you liked them.)

Gift Card Pass: This is the only form of regifting I do, and it's only when someone gives me a gift card that I know I'm not going to use -- I pass it along to someone I know who will. Generally it's a gift card to a department store where I don't shop, or restaurants we don't care for or that don't serve anything I can eat on my diet (if you do this first make sure that the gift card you're passing along hasn't expired.)

Green Gifts: For someone who loves to garden as much as you do, share the fruits of your labors -- pot one of your nicest plants, put together some cuttings or a basket of home-grown goodies to share (if you like to grow roses and want to share them, check out this article on how to grow roses from tip cuttings.)

Movie Swap: Start a swap tradition with a friend every holiday -- agree to send each other one of your favorite movies from your DVD collection or make them from one of the top ten free full-length movie sites on the internet (one friend and I swap TV series every year this way, which is how I discovered Lost and Battlestar Galactica and he got hooked on Spooks and Torchwood.)

Their Day Gift: Give your friend or loved one the gift of a day in which they can do whatever they like. You make this happen by filling in for them, i.e. babysitting their kids, cooking dinner for their spouse, taking care of their pets or being their chauffeur. It's also cool to do a meal variation of this -- give your friend a home-cooked meal of their choice and either have them over to eat with you or deliver it to their house.